Out of the Closet

Not sure what it is about young people and the messy room. Or, better put, why is it that it takes me so long to do something about the hamper in my daughter's room that resembles the Tower of Babel and the "stuff" strewn on the floor that looks like the Slough of Despond? You'd think by this time I would have come up with a system to make this sort of question unnecessary.

But, you see, I thought I had. From the time my children were young, their own laundry was their responsibility, along with their own ironing. This means, of course, that they were in terrible straits when they ran out of clean or ironed clothing that was suitable for wearing. They were also responsible for seeing to it that their beds were changed regularly and that their room was dusted and vacuumed. As a homeschooling mom, I didn't have the time or energy to handle these tasks for them. Besides, I always figured it was a necessary part of growing up, to learn to take care of your own stuff. To this day, I believe my daughter-in-law appreciates that my son handles his own laundry.

In any case, this past weekend, my remaining child living at home announced to me that she was "fed up" with the condition of her room and that she was going to clean it. Now, you must understand that it isn't that big of a room. However, it has been her domain for the past 14 1/2 years and exclusively hers since 1999. Her biggest challenge was her closet which for the past I-don't-know-how-long, has teetered on an avalanche whenever she's opened the doors. It's not that she hasn't cleaned her room in years and years, but that the closet has been the recipient of anything she didn't quite know whether to save or relinquish. Throughout the day, as I was working on a number of writing projects, I was continually interrupted with yelps that went something like:

"I can't believe I forgot I had this doll! Remember her? I always LOVED her."

"Look, this is my baseball glove that I got as a present when I was seven. It no longer fits! I should have used it more."

"Can you believe this has been sitting in my closet for five years? I could still wear this hat!"

"I think we need to give away these six pairs of shoes. I tried, but I can't even get my foot all the way in any of them."

Periodically, I would stick my head in her room (or try to, since at times it was hard to get the door opened at all), and encourage her to shorten this stroll down memory lane and get her room to resemble more of a pleasant place to sleep than a declared disaster area. Repeatedly I needed to bring her back to the task at hand as she would bump into a memory long forgotten.

I must admit, I was extremely amused and encouraged by her response to all this. Here was my young lady enjoying the memories of her past -- cherished treasures, prized gifts, trophies won, and clothes she loved. By the end of the day, many of these memories were packed up and placed for another day and time when she would revisit them. Others were put in a pile to share with others. It was as though she was identifying that childhood was a memory -- a good one -- but that her life now involved things more in line with her age and maturity level.

As she made her twenty or so trips to the garbage and recycling bins, she informed me that she thought she got her "pack rat" mentality from me. She kept blaming it on genetics or environmental causes. "I just find it so hard to throw anything away," she pined. Then, she came with a box and asked me what to do with some rocks. "Let me see them," I responded figuring they were something of value that she'd been given as a present. Instead, they looked like the millions of other rocks and stones one would find in our back yard. "Why did you save these?" I asked her. "I haven't the faintest idea," she laughed back.

These are the kind of important moments that a mother relishes spending with her daughter. In years to come, I'm sure she may not even recall this day or its events. But for me, I'm storing them in the closet of my mind where I'll be able to "dig out" memories of a day when my daughter took another full step toward womanhood.

Generations

The Bible speaks extensively about generations. We see, over and over again, the generations (descendants) of both the godly and the ungodly enumerated. The family is continually portrayed and established as God's basic form of government, and as the a child's first church and school.

Re-generation is also an essential doctrine of Scripture whereby those who are already born physically become born-again into a greater family -- the Family of God -- that transcends the biological family in which they were born.

So, when one gets to witness the double blessing of seeing a biological family that also is a family of covenant believers working together to build God's Kingdom, it is both encouraging and inspiring. Such was my reaction to listening to a CD entitled From Generation to Generation -- Psalms in Song. The patriarch of this family, the Rev. Nick Kozel, produced and performed (alongside fifteen other family members) a collection of psalms which can be obtained by visiting www.psalms4singing.com. Their mission statement reads:

Our mission is to spread the Word of God through song, enabling God's people to meditate on Scripture when they rise up, when they lie down, and as they walk along the way.

I must admit that my first interest in listening to this CD resulted from the fact that I know five members of the extended Kozel family who participated in this project quite well, and have had the pleasure of meeting three out of the remaining eight who recorded the 21 song selections. Like all new CDs I acquire, I find that the songs need to grow on me. And, these most certainly have. So much so that I find myself humming and singing psalms throughout the day. Just today as I was doing my laundry, I was singing "O magnify the Lord with me, and let us exalt His name together. Taste and see that the Lord is good; blessed is the man who trusts in Him." Talk about hiding the Word in my heart! Here I was spontaneously praising God with the inspired Word of God and the easily learned melodies composed by Rev. Kozel. [Note: The CD also includes piano instrumentals of all the selections, enabling listeners the option to sing without the recorded vocals.]

I think what I appreciate the most is seeing seven of his seventeen grandchildren pictured on the front cover gathered all around him and hearing their clear voices proclaiming the truth of Scripture through song. I guess it will come as no surprise that all of them are being educated with a thoroughly Christian education (Christian day schools and homeschooling) and that the extended Kozel family is actively involved in running Christian schools on both the east and west coasts. And the family's reach even extends to South America, as one of Rev. Kozel's seven children and his family are currently living and serving in a Christian orphanage in Bolivia.

From Generation to Generation -- Psalms in Song is a work that will inspire you as you listen and as you teach and disciple your children to magnify the Lord with you and taste and see that the Lord is good! May it be the impetus for you and your clan to work together to take more ground for the Kingdom of God in the name of Jesus Christ, from generation to generation.

Recovery Mode

One of the best parts about being really sick is the opportunity to re-evaluate "health" from the perspective of its opposite. This past week, I had this chance as my body succumbed to "that flu that is going around," and my days involved periods of being asleep and periods of wishing I was asleep. During this time, unable to proceed with all the things that "had to get done," I realized afresh that the world continues to spin without me watching over it. Additionally, the care and concern of my husband was decidedly evident, as was the flexibility that home education allows under such circumstances.

My homeschooling student graciously caught the flu at the same time I did, and we were both "sickies" together. "Oh," you say, "you must have lost a lot of school time." But the truth of the matter is that we were able to shift our focus from our normal routine and found opportunities to use the faculties we had at our disposal (ability to watch and hear things) and used the DVDs graciously brought in by my husband/nurse. Whether we were viewing a documentary, an educational video, or just a movie, each gave us the opportunity to discuss things like Biblical worldviews in modern depictions of life and living.

With chicken soup in hand, vaporizers going, and tissue boxes strewn throughout the room, we were able to discuss things like: What perspective do the main characters have regarding God and law? How do the characters identify and solve their problems? Was the truth about sin revealed or were transgressions white-washed, or worse, exalted? ---- Although no threat of testing or papers to write accompanied these excursions into learning, learning was indeed taking place.

I cannot stress enough the necessity for the homeschool curriculum to be infused and saturated with a thoroughly Biblical worldview that instills the premise that God's Word speaks to every area of life and thought. Then, even when a "break" from the normal is necessary, the time can still be redeemed in a God-honoring and productive fashion.

Standing on Your Own Two Feet

Is the goal of homeschooling to produce graduates who are self-sufficient and able to independently stand on their own two feet? I must confess that there was a time that I held that position and worked toward that end as a homeschooling parent/teacher. However, I have come to the conclusion that this sort of thinking is unbiblical and very humanistic.

The problem that Adam and Eve had in the garden was their delusional assumption that they COULD be self-sufficient and act independently from God. Not only were they disabused of this wrong notion when they were escorted out of Eden, but they conveyed this aberration to their posterity in the form of original sin. All successive generations have been born laboring under the delusion that they can be as God, determining for themselves what is right and what is wrong.

Our humanistic culture exalts the self-made man, the independent thinker, the I can do it all by myself attitude. Our fictional heroes are those who excel by lifting themselves out of the mire of common life, taking on the world single-handedly against all odds, thereby becoming heroes to those around them.

Jesus told his disciples that they needed to receive the Kingdom as a child. As any parent knows, children come out of the shoot very dependent individuals who need constant care and direction. As we apply outside discipline to their lives, we should be training them to be self-disciplined -- not self-sufficient. As they mature under our care and upbringing, they should transfer the obedience to our instruction to the Lord Jesus Christ and His law-word. It is when we've conveyed this important truth and seen the evidence that they have embraced it that our full-time parenting responsibilities are complete and a mature Christian man or woman is ready to face adulthood with complete reliance on Christ.

The goal of the Christian life is one of dominion under and through the Lord Jesus Christ in concert with the community of fellow-believers, not as "Lone Rangers."

. . . And On Those Bad Days?

Yes, we all have them. Those days when we're sure that nothing else could possibly go wrong, and then we surprise ourselves. Expressions like throwing in the towel, bailing out, and running away from home all float through one's mind. What to do on such days?

Within the ranks of Christian women I know, there are those I can call upon in such times of distress who "won't let me off the hook." These are women that I trust to be real with me when I am in a state of frustration and despair. Why have these women earned my trust? Well, for starters, they don't have me up on a pedestal. To them, I'm just who I am and they don't have some unrealistic expectation that says, "Nothing must ever go wrong at her house!" Moreover, they know the details of my life and situation and aren't reluctant to point out that I'm whining or re-hashing issues that I need to turn over to the Lord. Some of these "counselors" of mine don't even live in my state, nor do we get to see each other in person very often due to the distance between our homes. That said, they are among my dearest and closest sisters in Christ.

I recommend that all home schooling moms have a "short list" of other women to whom they can repair and grant permission to speak directly into their lives. But, these selections should not be made frivolously. Make sure that the person you summon for help will be the sort of person who uses the Word of God to counsel and uses it in an orthodox way. She should be ready and willing to exhort you rather than merely commiserate with you. If she is a decade or two older, that is a bonus! Most likely she'll have the benefit of a long-range perspective that gives her insight as to how dire your circumstance actually is. Chances are you'll leave these conversations with a smile, having re-evaluated your problem with a plan to work out whatever the difficulty was. Additionally, you'll have another opportunity to praise God for the sister He has provided for you!