The Monstrous Regiment of Women

A dear brother in the Lord, Colin Gunn, and his wife Emily took home the "Best of Festival $10,000 Grand Prize" at the San Antonio Film Festival this year for their film The Monstrous Regiment of Women. This documentary will be an important addition to your home library, and something to share with family, friends, and church members alike. Ordering information appears at the end of this clip.

Grateful to the Person Who Helps Me Shine

I've discovered that I have a considerable following -- those who read my blog and like it. The ones who don't, thankfully, don't feel compelled to share that information. However, I would be greatly remiss if I failed to acknowledge a person who helps me shine. Without her, you wouldn't get the clear, concise, grammatically coherent pieces that you read. Without S.B., I'd be a like a messy closet with good content that is hard to find, rather than a neatly ordered closet where it is easy to find what you're looking for.

I share this because too many home educators feel that their children should be able to write coming out of the chute. They understand that it takes years to produce a virtuoso pianist, but think writing should come "naturally" and they tend to abandon it after a few failed attempts. Good writing is an acquired skill that involves being well read, knowing the conventions of language, and having something worth saying. A piece rarely comes out looking polished until four or five passes. Like so many other things, we see the result, but have no real concept of how the process unfolds.

So, I thought I'd share with you the journey that any piece I write takes from the idea stage to being in print. First, I am constantly observing people (family, friends, acquaintances, and colleagues), news stories (internet, magazines, TV), films, and whatever else is around me, and I attempt to interpret all things in the light of Scripture: How does the behavior, story, idea, etc. conform or diverge from the clear Word of God? Second, I put my fingers on my computer keyboard and start writing as though I am talking to someone. I pay little attention to spelling or punctuation because I am working to get the idea and its relevance into a form I can read. If I'm interrupted, I "save" what I have down and return to it later. Sometimes I get to the end of a piece and realize that I don't really have a point after all. But, the good thing is that the ideas are out of my head and I've evaluated them. Third, I go through a piece I feel has merit, revising my wording so that it flows naturally. I then run the spelling/grammar checker to clean up any obvious mistakes and read the piece again. Fourth, I get it into a neatly formatted page and send it to my copy editor, S.B. In other words, I've sent her my best.

S.B. takes her time; usually we have a 24 hour turnaround. Each time I open up her revision, I'm struck with just how much my "best" needs improvement. She omits my wordiness (see what you’ve been spared), and helps me convey my ideas in an interesting and worthwhile manner by asking me pertinent questions to clarify my meaning. Finally, I take my work and post it to my blog site or submit it for hard-copy publication, making sure that the point I was attempting to make at the outset is still in tact.

Homeschooling parents should develop this copyeditor role with their children. Parents should make it a priority to help their students share their ideas clearly. By helping them "mine" for the precise word to clarify their meaning, they'll both be developing valuable language skills. I've recently learned that copyeditors (along with PhDs) are considered to have the highest vocabulary level when it comes to language. The beauty of homeschooling is that parents can be developing this skill in themselves as they teach their children how to write.

Now, comes the tricky part. I have to send this off to make sure I've not confused you or embarrassed myself in the process! Okay, S.B., time to get to work!

That's Just the Way It Is

I remember experiencing great customer service at the grand opening of a high-end department store about twenty years ago. An established chain, it was making its first appearance in our area. The atmosphere was pleasant and non-rushed, with piano music played by a pianist in a tuxedo. You did not have to look far to get assistance from knowledgeable, well-attired salespeople ready to go the extra mile to answer a question or find a particular item. In fact, often a salesperson would become your personal assistant, returning clothes to the floor and finding the correct size, so you didn't have to leave the dressing room. The slogan that was prominently displayed throughout the establishment read, "The only difference between stores is the way they treat their customers."

I'm sorry to report that this level of customer service is no longer present in this department store which has become very much like its numerous counterparts in malls. (That slogan is also no longer displayed!) Helping customers is not something that seems to be high on anyone's priority list. Even salespeople who sell you a computer, electronic equipment, or an expensive appliance are quick to promise all the benefits available should there be a problem. But when a problem arises, the customer discovers that the promises were exaggerated or the company has changed its policy since the item was purchased.

What makes the process more frustrating is that when you call customer service, there are very pleasant people giving very unsatisfactory answers. They gently and calmly guide the unhappy customer to the position of accepting "the way it is," -- leaving the problem unresolved. They will be the first to admit that they don't make the policies; they just have to live by them. It feels cruel and mean to unload on them, yet they are the face and voice of the company they represent. If you are directed to a customer service "satisfaction" survey after the call, the survey only deals with the attitude and helpfulness of the person with whom you just talked. So, there isn't any satisfaction with voicing concerns, because you are never asked about your real problem!

What does this have to do with home education? If we school our children to accept the status quo, to accept what all those experienced folks know - that's just the way it is - we are fostering and furthering an unbiblical status quo. Aren't we as Christians called to further the Kingdom of God rather than accept the realities of the kingdom of man? Our children need to be taught, and re-taught that their "yes" should be "yes" and their "no," "no" - regardless of whom they work for or where they work. If we as a culture continue to acquiesce to the way things are, then things will always be that way. The chain needs to be broken.

The Word of God is an excellent customer service manual. Why? Because as Christians we are to recognize each and every encounter we have with others as an opportunity to have our light shine before them, reflecting Our Father in heaven. When we approach people with this in mind, we will treat them correctly. The work ethic that is correctly identified with the Puritans was undergirded by such a perspective. Our home schools should produce graduates who value each and every opportunity to represent Christ to the world. That means holding ourselves, our customers, and at times, even our employers accountable to do things in a God-honoring way. How glorious the day when God’s way is just the way it is.

Providential Pain

One of the things that becomes obvious with age is how painful aging can be. Looking at a toddler who is able to sleep in all sorts of contorted positions and wake up flexible and raring to go reminds me that I've crossed the boundary of being young. Falling asleep in a comfortable chair for twenty minutes leaves me "dreaming" of the next opportunity to see my chiropractor. But, with age comes wisdom, wisdom that is often the result of various types of pain, both physical and emotional. The benefit of wisdom is not automatic. Without grace, years of painful experiences can produce cynicism or negativity.

As a homeschooling parent with a sizable age span between my oldest and youngest, I now have a better perspective of the parenting endeavor. I find that I am not preoccupied with the incidental aspects of parenthood and I am more concerned with the opportunity to impart life skills that will have the greatest impact on responsible adulthood.

Just the other day I had a chance to put this wisdom into practice. I was watching two boys under the age of four whose mom was giving my daughter a piano lesson. A bit of "separation anxiety" was at play with the younger one as his mom went to another part of the church campus and left the boys and me in the nursery. In my earlier days, I might have spent a considerable amount of time and energy trying to get him to stop crying by diverting his attention and hoping he would become fixated on something else. Instead, I told him that I had no problem with him crying, his mom was going to be gone for a while and if he wanted to continue crying, he had to do it away from the door so he would not disturb others. This "reminder" had to be administered a couple of times as I physically removed him from the gate he was attempting to scale. I never told him to stop crying. After awhile, he went back to the door with a bit of a whimper trying as hard as he could to remember why he was crying. Unable to do so, he turned around, found an interesting toy and off he went. You see, I knew he would have to change his mind - I couldn't change it for him. In other words, I didn't work to lessen his pain. (Oh, that I had understood this 29 years earlier!!! No telling how much better life would have been for all concerned had this wisdom been present when I began parenting.)

Might I have been tempted to jump around and play a game with my little charge, crawling all over the floor if my half-century plus frame would have tolerated it? ---Was there some decided benefit in having to utilize other resources more readily at my disposal? Yes! But now that I have the benefit of a long term vision, I decided to use this situation for his long-term benefit. This youngster is in the process of learning to deal with pain - something that will accompany him the rest of his life. He wouldn't have been helped if I had lied to him and told him his mom would be right back. He would have only learned to distrust those caring for him. Instead, he got to "exercise" the muscle of patience and develop an understanding that life isn't always governed by personal dictates. Like the rest of us, he will learn that much of the progress obtained in life is the result of pain and disappointment.

Viewed and understood within the framework of a biblical worldview, it is obvious that pain is a vital part of the process of sanctification. After all, the very event that opened the door to heaven for us involved a tremendous amount of pain and suffering by One who for the joy set before Him endured the cross and the shame. Picking up one's cross and following Jesus leads us into the blessings of providential pain.

Thirty-Two and Counting…

November 7th marks the 32nd anniversary of my bearing the title Mrs., one that carried many more responsibilities than I was aware of when I received it back in 1975. In fact, it is safe to say that I had no substantial guidelines in place back then from which to operate. I figured it couldn't be all that difficult or different to be married - after all most people ended up married and I was at least as capable as they.

It wasn't until I embraced the perspectives of Scripture that I began to see that there were definite standards by which to judge myself as a good or bad wife and to determine whether or not I had a good marriage. Parenting added to the mix in a positive way, because it forced me to become organized and consistent in how I approached my duties. Thanks to a biblical worldview, duties became much more important than rights. I learned that I had the right to remain obedient (to God and His Word), and blessings would result when I obeyed, and the opposite would result when I didn't.

Many acknowledge the vital role that the mother plays in the homeschooling endeavor. But, I think far too little credit is given to the same woman's role as wife. The success of a homeschool has as much to do with how a woman relates to her husband as it does how she relates to her children. Unfortunately, not a lot of preparation goes into the education of young girls in this area. We spend lots of time ensuring they know the basic academic subjects, and possibly how to perform household tasks, but do we really encourage training in how to be a good wife? Culturally, much more time is spent on planning the wedding than on planning the marriage.

I am forever grateful for the theological and mentoring assistance of two departed saints who have as much to do with this anniversary being reached as my husband and I. For it was through those many Sundays spent in Vallecito, CA under the tutelage of the Rushdoonys--Rush and Dorothy--that we learned how to value and care for our marriage. In many ways, it's their anniversary as well.

In the Eyes of the Beholder

In our day, credentials "prove" that a person is knowledgeable about a subject and competent in its application. Without credentials, professed expertise in a given area is suspect. And, how is this defined?

A credential is an attestation of qualification, competence, or authority issued to an individual by a third party with a relevant de jure or de facto authority or assumed competence to do so.

The word credential has a similar root to the word creed. So, credentials are based on beliefs. In other words, someone or some group or institution has to attest to or "believe" that what one professes to know is, in fact, true and reliable.

Often when my daughter meets adults who discover that she is homeschooled she will be quizzed regarding the credentials of her teacher. Just the other day she was playing golf with a very pleasant man who asked her if her mother was a mathematician. My daughter's response, "No, but she's a very good teacher." Can you imagine that man asking a student from a public school if his teacher was a mathematician? It is assumed (despite ample evidenced to the contrary) that a child educated in a state school has better, more qualified teachers than does a homeschooled student. Credentials are subjective. Whereas many in homeschooling circles view me as an expert, those who are unfamiliar with home education OR who don't share my world and life view might consider me unqualified. Credentials are truly in the eyes of the beholder.

As the saying goes, the proof of the pudding is in the tasting. It isn't so important where one learns as that one learns. One would imagine this would be universally accepted if the primary reason for compulsory education was to impart true knowledge rather than to indoctrinate students with a particular worldview. Therein lies the real problem with Christian education from a secular perspective. Students who learn in a Christian setting are not being fed a steady diet of humanistic, materialistic, pluralistic, and/or atheistic content and may have opinions that deviate from the "norm." How inconvenient if you want to produce robotic responses to the issues and concerns of life!

Over the course of my homeschooling tenure, I have become quite knowledgeable in many areas. Some might call me an expert, or at least, attribute some degree of expertise to my knowledge. These areas have coincided with those things that are important to me and in which my children regularly participated. Sure, I've outsourced some of the instruction (specific academic subjects, music, and athletics), but because I was actively involved, I have been able to act as a coach or mentor in many areas with a huge body of knowledge at my disposal.

One Saturday afternoon while I was helping my daughter prepare for an upcoming golf tournament, I was approached by a man asking for my assistance with his putting stroke which he claimed was ballooning his golf scores. He was sure I was I was a golf teacher after watching me work with my daughter. I assured him that I wasn't, just merely a parent helping her child. After watching me work through drills with her, he approached me repeatedly asking for my help. I relented because the more I told him I was not a coach, the more he was convinced that I was just being modest, aloof, or too busy for him. He told me he was about to go play with his buddies and he needed help. So, I asked him to putt and I would watch him and tell him what I thought. After about five minutes I motioned him back. "You're lifting your head too soon. Keep it down and you'll drain more putts."

Now every golf book in print will give this same advice. And, my newly acquired student looked like the sort who had read them all. But after hearing this critique from "an expert," he made putt after putt. He was quite excited and practically hugged me. "Now," he said, "I'm ready to go out and beat those guys! I knew you were a golf coach!" I can only imagine how he boasted to his fellows about the free golf lesson he received that day.

I guess credentials truly are in the eyes of the beholder!