Honor Your Children

All Christian homeschooling parents are fairly consistent with teaching their children the Biblical requirement to honor parents. We know by heart the full text of the Fifth Commandment and can quote it on a dime, "Honor your father and mother so that your days may be long upon the land that the Lord your God has given you." However, one of the many lessons I have learned over my years of parenthood and homeschooling involves the Biblical requirement to honor our children.

Our children come to us as tiny bundles who depend on us for everything. As they grow, we are their nurturers, advocates, encouragers, and supporters. We organize their activities and set play dates and extra curricula activities so that they achieve a well-rounded and purposeful education. In fact, we get so good at this that we sometimes don't stop long enough to appreciate what responsible and effective young people they are becoming. The tendency is to treat them like the youngsters we first began to teach, not giving them the respect and consideration we would give others their age who are not a part of our family.

Now that my youngest is the only remaining child living at home, it is easier to schedule events and participate in activities on short notice. I often take advantage of such opportunities, but fail to inform her that I have done so. For instance, as we were leaving church one day, she noticed that we were not heading directly home. When she inquired, I told her that we were going to visit someone first. The look on her face told me that she was less than happy. My first impulse was to assume that she was being difficult; but she had made plans for the afternoon that my decision had overturned. I had not treated her the way I wanted to be treated. Since having this insight, I have found myself guilty as charged of doing similar things countless times.

Homeschooling parents have the benefit of spending lots of time with their children. We must be sure that in the process we stop and take inventory of their movement into adulthood and afford them the same consideration we want for ourselves and instinctively give to others outside our family.

Let love be genuine.
Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
Love one another with brotherly affection.
Outdo one another in showing honor.
(Romans 12:9-10)

Table Talk

One of my greatest pleasures in homeschooling my high-school-aged daughter centers on the conversations we have at the kitchen table. Much of the course work she now does involves online classes, junior college courses, and the reading we do together. Her genuine excitement when she learns new things is evident when she gets up from her chair and finds me (usually at my computer writing) to share this "neat thing" she just learned. I stop what I'm doing, and make my way back to the kitchen table to continue the discussion. Often these "interruptions" prove to be the most important aspects of the entire day.

Learning is composed of a number of distinct parts.

• First, the student has to be acclimated to the idea of receiving instruction and the setting has to be one free from distractions in order for there to be proper retention of material. Thus, having a specific location that remains the same day-in and day-out will help produce an environment of learning.

• Second, the student has to understand, to some degree, the importance of the activity taking place. This involves conveying the high calling it is to be a student of God's world in the context of His Word. Without this view, schooling tends to be approached with a "prisoner-of-war" mentality, and the activity becomes one of external conformity rather than actual learning.

• Next, the advance preparation work done to ensure that the student is working with suitable and beneficial materials now comes into play allowing the student to work independently. In cases where these are not readily available for a given subject, the homeschooling teacher needs to be prepared to formulate her own, or supplement her direct teaching with other materials.

• Finally, (and I believe this is the aspect of homeschooling that makes it a clearly superior choice) is the opportunity for the student to interact immediately with and pose questions to his parent/teacher in order to clarify meaning. The resultant discussion will not only enhance his understanding but will allow him to practice being articulate in the expression of his agreement or disagreement with the material. And, most importantly, the values and perspectives of the family will be the foundation of the education that takes place.

As schooling progresses, the homeschool teacher will face the challenge of engaging in more intellectual and sophisticated dialog and discussion with her students. During my twenty–six years working within the context of this discipleship mode of education, I met this challenge by never ceasing to be a student myself -- always adding to my treasury of knowledge in the fields of history, politics, current affairs, and most importantly maintaining a systematic theology -- in order to be an appropriate and qualified sounding board for my student(s). In short, the more the homeschool teacher embraces the fact that there is much more for her to learn, the better suited she will be to be the mentor/teacher her students require.

The early years of homeschooling are all about laying a Biblical foundation, basing each subject on a Biblical perspective. As students mature, they should be presented with challenging material that enables them to see how Biblical principles have been and are being "played out" in the world around them. They should have the distinct benefit of being taught by a parent/teacher who is continuing to expand her own knowledge and understanding in order for her to assist her students to make choices about how to best fulfill their calling under God, thereby using their God-given talents and abilities to further the Kingdom of Jesus Christ.

The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly

My youngest daughter couldn't have been more than five years old the day she accompanied me to the movie theater. A friend was going through a bad time, and I thought the diversion of a movie would help. Because I didn't have a babysitter, my little one accompanied us. The movie was Evita, the story of an Argentinean actress who married the president and rose to the highest levels of power. She was described as both the most beloved and hated woman in Argentina. At the end of the movie, my friend and I discussed the storyline. My daughter was shocked that we thought Eva Peron was not a good person. With a look I may never forget, she chimed in, "She has to be a good person! Didn't you see her pretty hair, nails, and clothes?" It took me a good while to help her understand that those characteristics did not match the biblical criteria for righteousness.

There have been other instances when she thought certain people would make good friends based on their outward appearance. However, eleven more years of biblical training in our homeschool setting has reorganized my daughter's thinking. She has developed the capacity to see beyond externals and analyze how words and actions reflect the character of a person and point to the authenticity and veracity of stated positions. While this is decidedly not a quick process, it remains a vital function on the road to being educated.

During this political season millions are being spent to portray candidates according to style and image. I laugh when I hear the tag line "I'm so-and-so, and I approved this message." Who wouldn't approve a message that portrays a candidate as friendly, engaging, strong, persuasive, and electable? The more important criteria should be that the candidate approves and supports God's message as outlined in the Holy Bible.

Parents can make good use of the primaries, conventions, and other political hoopla in an election year to break down for their children the candidates' positions across the boards and identify how much they are or are not in line with the Word of God. And, the notion needs to be dispelled that it pleases God when anyone agrees with Him on some things while "improving" on His ideas and directives in others. Nice clothes, hairdos, facelifts, and speeches aside, our vote needs to take into consideration that one day we will stand before the Lord and give an account for all our actions. Yes, even our votes.