All Christian homeschooling parents are fairly consistent with teaching their children the Biblical requirement to honor parents. We know by heart the full text of the Fifth Commandment and can quote it on a dime, "Honor your father and mother so that your days may be long upon the land that the Lord your God has given you." However, one of the many lessons I have learned over my years of parenthood and homeschooling involves the Biblical requirement to honor our children.
Our children come to us as tiny bundles who depend on us for everything. As they grow, we are their nurturers, advocates, encouragers, and supporters. We organize their activities and set play dates and extra curricula activities so that they achieve a well-rounded and purposeful education. In fact, we get so good at this that we sometimes don't stop long enough to appreciate what responsible and effective young people they are becoming. The tendency is to treat them like the youngsters we first began to teach, not giving them the respect and consideration we would give others their age who are not a part of our family.
Now that my youngest is the only remaining child living at home, it is easier to schedule events and participate in activities on short notice. I often take advantage of such opportunities, but fail to inform her that I have done so. For instance, as we were leaving church one day, she noticed that we were not heading directly home. When she inquired, I told her that we were going to visit someone first. The look on her face told me that she was less than happy. My first impulse was to assume that she was being difficult; but she had made plans for the afternoon that my decision had overturned. I had not treated her the way I wanted to be treated. Since having this insight, I have found myself guilty as charged of doing similar things countless times.
Homeschooling parents have the benefit of spending lots of time with their children. We must be sure that in the process we stop and take inventory of their movement into adulthood and afford them the same consideration we want for ourselves and instinctively give to others outside our family.
Let love be genuine.
Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
Love one another with brotherly affection.
Outdo one another in showing honor.
(Romans 12:9-10)
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
Posts
Thank you for this reminder. In our busy lives as homeschooling moms, we often think only of how to make our days run more smoothly, even at the expense of the children we are training up! :(
ReplyDeleteLinda
I'm not certain that I agree with this, or that it is biblical. I can't recall anything in the Bible that would back up this notion of "Honor Your Children". I see lots of families where the children are worshipped and allowed to run the family and are constantly entertained but I don't think this is biblical either. Has someone got some chapters and verses from the Bible that may shed some light on this?
ReplyDeleteYou are correct in stating that children should not be worshipped and allowed to run the family. Isaiah warns that a culture is cursed when children rule over it. Also, providing constant entertainment is not the role of parents nor is it beneficial for the child. I was specifically addressing homeschooling parents who sometimes treat their maturing children in ways contrary to how they themselves expect to be treated by others.
ReplyDeleteThe book of Ephesians instructs parents to not exasperate their children. When we fail to honor their time and preferences in circumstances where it is reasonable to do so, I believe we are heading down the road of exasperating them. In the book of Galatians, we are told to "Do good unto all men, especially unto those of the household of faith." Shouldn't this also apply to our children? Does it make Biblical sense to honor a fellow homeschooling mom's time and resources but not apply the same consideration for one's own young adult children?
It is a great comfort for covenant children to know that their parents answer to a higher authority than themselves. Honoring them as fellow members of the Body of Christ allows them to see that our profession of faith matches our confession.
Hope this helps.