Driving Miss Dorothy

For the past eighteen-plus years, my daughter and I have spent countless hours with each other. Even though she will reach her eighteenth birthday in a couple of weeks, I date our relationship from the day I went to the local pregnancy center for a pregnancy test. Having been a supporter for years, it seemed a fitting location to confirm that my third child was on the way.

Yesterday, that “baby” passed her driving test and today she took her first solo voyage, since the restriction of driving with a licensed driver in the car has been removed. I vividly recall my angst when my two older children reached this milestone. Maybe it is the passage of time or a better sense of how things go, but today angst was not among the emotions I experienced.

One of my observations about this transition is how different the parent/child relationship becomes when children no longer need to rely on parents for transportation. And although it will be pleasant to sleep in sometimes and not spend huge blocks of time chauffeuring her around, there are things that I will miss.

I will miss the study time I enjoyed while waiting for her piano lessons or golf practice to be over. I’ll miss the time I spent knitting and listening to audio sermons during those waits. Most of all, I will miss the bonding time that came when we travelled to and from her classes, tournaments, or lessons. I will miss her help with shopping runs we made on our way home. Somehow, sitting side by side rather than face to face often allowed for greater freedom in sharing important topics. With my older children, I never fully appreciated how much I needed to replace those car times with times for us to catch up on the events of our day. With younger children still requiring transportation, I didn’t notice the negative effect of that lack soon enough.

One of the most precious aspects of the homeschooling life is the opportunity to develop strong relationships within the family. As we reach milestones, the years of growth and nurturing turn into years of maturing friendship and respect. With a good foundation, change can foster growth rather than inhibit it.